Dear Breakfast

Dear Turkey Sausage, Egg and Cheese on an English Muffin,

I want to thank you for being there for me today in my time of crisis. As you may or may not have heard, Sleep and I are having problems in our relationship. Last night I turned to my friend Wine for comfort. White and I were having a nice conversation and he started making me feel better about my problems with Sleep. But then White called up our other friend, Red. We started this weird kind of three-way thing, me, Red and White. And then I got a little crazy and decided that Red and White needed to be introduced to Blue Moon (after all, we are celebrating independence day soon). Anyway, Champagne showed up for a second too and...well...I guess I just kind of let them all have their way with me. I know I shouldn't have, and I'm not saying I was forced, but I just woke up regretful. I felt like they really disrespected me, you know? Worse, I felt like I had really disrespected myself.

But I made it to work on time. I have no idea how. I still felt pretty bad, though. Until you showed up. You, Turkey Sausage, Egg and Cheese on an English Muffin. You turned it all around. I held you gently in my hand. You were so firm, so warm. I anticipated your subtle spiciness on my tongue as we walked into my office and hid behind cubicle walls. I unwrapped you quickly, tearing away your papery outside layer to reveal your foily lingerie. You felt so hot, exposed that way. I thought I should wait a moment before enjoying you. I didn't want your heat to leave it's mark on the roof of my mouth. But I couldn't wait. I dove in. The world disappeared as I took you into my mouth. I closed my eyes as I felt your crispiness mixed with your creaminess and fluffiness. Bite by bite we became one, Turkey Sausage, Egg and Cheese on an English Muffin.

Maybe I should feel guiltily. I shouldn't be with someone like you. I should be with Low Fat Yogurt or Egg Whites and Veggies or Whole Grain Cereal, but I've been with them so many times and they're so boring! They're not like you, they're not passionate and hot and complex and sexy like you Turkey Sausage, Egg and Cheese on an English Muffin! I know it's wrong...but I just had to indulge in sensual pleasures this morning.

I sit in my cubicle, satisfied and alone. I have no regrets. Your salty hotness still lingers on my palate, though you have been gone for some time now. The problems that plagued me from last night have left my consciousness and I'm feeling better about Sleep and I. I think tonight we will reconcile. Yes, Turkey Sausage, Egg and Cheese on an English Muffin, I used you. We both knew what this was about. This can never happen again. Tomorrow I will go back to Whole Grain Cereal in the morning. But you should know how much you meant to me for those few moments this morning. I'll never forget you, but this can never happen again.

With love,

Psyche, Tummy, Hips, Butt, and Thighs